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Sunday, 20 November 2016

Intimate Cartography 2: Matter and Memory (full written text)

I waiting

warm, wrapped                    
           brightening cold 
a boy        waiting                                     
          cold bright 
a shining                 
shimmering glass &
chess board floor
a coat & bustling 
all warmth  

Reach-truck spun
tonnes of 
steel & a 
pressed body 
echoing sweat 
blaring hysterical
popped like a 
bloody balloon &
spraying under
hard white lighting 
a hairsbreadth
seeming from
the darkness 

Huddling in geological blanket strata &
layers of breathing warming 
just stone cold 
                confined air
      night and day clothes
          rattling glass 

                      vital blue-black stain creeping
across pinned up wood-chip ceiling paper


Mystery of monkey-puzzle trees 
            a whispering 
       walk towards the park entrance 

               a mystery of hippy danger

hand in hand through chords of sunlight 

Finger-drawing internal ice 

Hard and lacerating brick surfaces under
hot sun and a metal tank grey and metal and
cool and smooth under fingers under haptic vision and
water turning to thick ice in winter and 
under an experimentally rainbowing fly-spray surface 
under hot sun and a smell of straw 

A scent of damp     they can smell it 
infects them & their fingertips 
a consciousness of thick wool in his hands
     providing a negative charge to determination that's
disregarding trepidation and sleeping children and a thin carpet 
infected with damp and an inconclusive desire 
a tv on with the sound down 
        it's all about convenience and it's like a job 
but open  tumescent and trembling  with an expectant
                mistaken future

Tensing legs and filling with acid energy as they jump 
and run
after a flinging of earth balls and with  
a shouting of coppers    coppers
park toilets muck polka-dotted
      under a howling weight of sky 

They're both crying at the ersatz death of Robert Powell

no but
       that's facetious and a bit mean
but tears are running down all their cheeks 
               and it's disturbing
                 one day you'll understand 

the gas fire reddening child's skin 

Pearl light at a rattling sash window
                   his forehead through
a memory of speechless breathless dark
        ridges of a fraying bedspread under thighs
a dark storm attempting to drag him through black glass

There's a slipping  of some kind and an
impact     a broken wooden rim is very clear
       cold and deep-red-brown kitchen tiles in
boxy blue air
     a deep cupboard of curious broken treasures 
               a sharpening numbness
               they're all present and gathered
               seeming expectant

       blood and  - pause -  screaming 
and a gathering then to a large & bustling 
       all-warmth & comfort 

Itching of 
anxious dread 
                        flecking idiocy 
                        hating haircuts

you secretly confuse 'pubic' and 'public' &
                    shifting sidelong wary
          attempting to trace a line out from 
abusive threats
thick electric breath & 
real danger of harm 
chosen with a choice of subculture 

It's all feeling as though it's already coming down
         or five      
running along dim corridors 
vibrating nostalgically in a thin 
blue-green glaze & beams of dust 

A bollocking at tedious length this hideous
          the buzzing
          dying eyes 
          dragging bowels
          nailed in place by need 


Seeing a stretch of cold 
blue infinity
a 3 o'clock summer light
and running for it 

Transparent lethal yellow plastic disorientation
stretching through the air way up to the corrugated roof 
        waves of corrugated steel heat running down across 
everything rising from a packed mud floor

Shining fat-necked bottles of milk
        medical eye-patch   asthma
red brick      whooping cough

A black Bakelite phone in cold thin light

Tonnes of mobile steel in scraped red and white
honking with foul breath and nastier
poisoned gut stenches

She is filling with a feeling that sings
through the skin across her shoulder blades 
            clear & touching the sun as her eyes
drink the instantaneous lives of children 

As for the roaring in the country sky
it is an unbalancing 
replacing a rock
with lovely wet laughter 

Cutting and infecting 
inside the skin, she
knows and is briefly 
expressing the injustice &
the slavery of a cup of tea

Dim and lead-lamp lit deep red stench 
inside dark sharp repetitions
dragging and stretching and pinning
a conscious surface out 

Terror & madness
just in 
being alive      specific       singular
in all 


Along a path between raised beds
repeatedly and smelling already 
this repeated journey hand in hand 
shifting and flickering light and matter  

Echoing against grey-green wood 
and inside the sound of a sea 
an experiment of senses and imagination
flashing across strips of darkness and light 

And in weekly uphill retreat with habitual waving
from a fading dream of non existent super 8 
hand again in hand & a scent of cold coat wool
dissolving smiles loving & fixed