Partial Self-Portrait 11/9/2016

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Intimate Cartography 2 - Third Batch

There's a slipping  of some kind and an

impact     a broken wooden rim is very clear

       cold and deep-red-brown kitchen tiles in

boxy blue air

     a deep cupboard of curious broken treasures 

               

               a sharpening numbness

               they're all present and gathered

               seeming expectant

       blood and  - pause -  screaming 

and a gathering then to a large & bustling 

       all-warmth & comfort 

Itching of 

anxious dread 

              after-school 

              boneheads

                        flecking idiocy 

                        hating haircuts

you secretly confuse 'pubic' and 'public' &

           

                    shifting sidelong wary

          attempting to trace a line out from 

abusive threats

thick electric breath & 

real danger of harm 

chosen with a choice of subculture 

It's all feeling as though it's already coming down

four 

         or five      

running along dim corridors 

vibrating nostalgically in a thin 

blue-green glaze & beams of dust 

A bollocking at tedious length this hideous

insult 

          the buzzing

          infantilising 

fucked

          dying eyes 

          dragging bowels

          nailed in place by need 

Pffff

Transparent lethal yellow plastic disorientation

stretching through the air way up to the corrugated roof 

        waves of corrugated steel heat running down across 

everything rising from the packed mud floor

Shining fat-necked bottles of milk

        medical eye-patch   asthma

red brick      whooping cough

A black Bakelite phone in thin light and cold air

She is filling with a feeling that sings

through the skin across her shoulder blades 

            clear & touching the sun as her eyes

drink the instantaneous lives of children 

Cutting and infecting inside the skin, she

knows and briefly expresses the injustice 

the slavery of a cup of tea

Circus

Something in the initial presentation of wobbling and imperfection &

cheap seams prompting a temptation to romance;

Vagabond is easy but it's also in multitasking and an

amateurish overlay across deep concentration and 

Explorations of bodily possibilities, turning at the wrist 

and at the knee with a lifting of the corners at mouth and eyes. 

Flight is horribly circumscribed and cramped but suggestive while

bodies work along the edges of beauty and beautiful flaws

And flight itself, turning at centres of vortexes or stretching a

dangling grace as a passenger of curtailed engine power &

Speed. In darkness a loveliness of utterly useless light &

spinning colour is mute in the face of genuine danger. 

However, there’s little particular danger from fire added to 

flashing blades but there is virtu in spectacle and the excitation

Of some kind of nonspecific desire including that for something 

beyond all this but still immanent to it. Disruptive patterns of passivity

And activity are of gendered interest. In all cases, they are there indisputably

with a fading and a brilliance that throb in and out in complex rhythms. 

The ground is scrubby and scrappy kids run around with excitement. 

Intimate Cartography

Intimate Cartography 2: Memory and Matter (Second Batch)

Hard and lacerating brick surfaces under

hot sun and a metal tank grey and metal and

cool and smooth under fingers under haptic vision and

water turning to thick ice in winter and 

dead

fish 

under an experimentally rainbowing fly spray surface 

under hot sun and a smell of straw 

A scent of damp     they can smell it 

infects them & their fingertips 

a consciousness of thick wool in his hands

     providing a negative charge to determination that's

disregarding trepidation and sleeping children and a thin carpet 

infected with damp and an inconclusive desire 

a tv on with the sound down 

        it's all about convenience and it's like a job 

but open  tumescent and trembling  with an expectant

                mistaken future

Tensing legs and filling with acid energy as they jump 

and run

after a flinging of earth balls and with  

a shouting of coppers    coppers

park toilets muck polka-dotted

      under a roaring weight of sky 

They're both crying at the ersatz death of Robert Powell

no but

       that's facetious and a bit mean

but tears are running down all their cheeks 

               and it's disturbing

                

                 one day you'll understand 

the gas fire reddening child's skin 

Pearl light at a rattling sash window

cutting

            inside 

                   his forehead through

a memory of speechless breathless dark

        ridges of a fraying bedspread under thighs

a dark storm attempting to drag him through black glass

Difference and Repetition

Intimate Cartography 2: Memory and Matter (first batch)

I waiting

warm, wrapped                    

           brightening cold 

a boy        waiting                                     

warm   

          cold bright 

a shining                 

shimmering glass &

chess board floor

a coat & bustling 

all warmth  

Reach-truck spun

tonnes of 

steel & a 

pressed body 

echoing sweat 

blaring hysterical

giggling 

imaginatively 

popped like a 

bloody balloon &

spraying under

hard white lighting 

a hairsbreadth

seeming from

the darkness 

Huddling in geological blanket strata &

layers of breathing warming 

just stone cold 

                confined air

      night and day clothes

          rattling glass 

                      vital blue-black stain creeping

across pinned up wood-chip ceiling paper

  

Mystery of monkey-puzzle trees 

            a whispering 

       walk towards the park entrance 

               a mystery of hippy danger

hand in hand through chords of sunlight 

Finger-drawing internal ice 

Difference and Repetition

Hyle

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Intimate Cartography - Full Text

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